05.22.17 | kumusta : a big word

It’s been months when I last showed up in the church, Victory-Pasig. I have been there on Sundays consistently since 14th of May. Half of me thought my presence would be less noticeable if I would be seated at the back (I usually sit 2nd-3rd row from the stage) and half of me expects few people would notice once my being is remarked.

So people greeted me with “Hello! you’re back!” (Have I been gone that long?) Oh yes, I’m back, finally! “How are you? What is up to you nowadays?” (Hmmm. Busy at work? Busy taking care of stuffs and all?) Oh well, I’ve been hustling with overtimes at work. You know, kinda stuff to earn more – if not to perform. “I miss you! What happened to you?” (Oh, I’ve been up and about from here to there, I guess.) Oh, Same here! I miss this integral thing, these people and the whole family!

And yesterday was the classic I genuinely missed. I jostled into my former mentor while fixing my hair in the rest room. She still mentors me when necessary. She is a pastor’s wife. I’ve been mentored by three pastor’s wife already. Yes. That is so true.  “Miss Lorie! You’ve been in my mind for two weeks now. KUMUSTA? (how are you?)”. I didn’t know what to answer, I shrieked it off with a phony smile hoping she won’t read my mind through my eyes and said “I’m perfectly fine!” What a foolproof line to use this time. I got a bit scared Miss Maru read me between those lines. I tried to shun eye contact ‘cause I know in my heart, she’ll certainly figure out something that needs to be dealt with when I do. I was anxious I would have to sit with her for about half an hour if not a couple for that matter.

That word “kumusta” means a lot to us. Singles, in particular. It may mean, we have something to confide – good thing, bad thing. This word daunts me most of the time. It’s weird, right? When I was young, I thought the word “kumusta” is just a word to disguise disinterest or to kickoff a conversation. But I was deluded. It’s a big word. If you ask “Kumusta”, you have to be ready to give an ear and extra time (as in ample time), not to mention wisdom to advise (should this be solicited). However, if you were asked, be primed to open your heart to a possibility of console or impediment.

It’s been years since I heard that magic word “Kumusta?” It’s something singles (I, in particular) love to hear because it’s an indication that someone would hear our deep thoughts that bothers us or a joy that can’t sit around to be shared. Nonetheless, it is likewise something we dread to hear ‘cause we know we can’t suppress anything, that we will be caught anytime soon. Talk about discernment.

Now, this gave me a thought overnight. I get to check myself again.

How am I really doing? Self-check mode ON. I don’t routinely go over many questions when this mode is on. “How is your heart?”. It’s the only question I need to ask myself. Why? Whatever it is,  will always boil down to the bottom line – my Heart.

A simple word that could mean a big thing.


04.23.17 | day 5 : kamsahamnida

A Grateful Sunday.

I said thank you that I get a wake up call from my family this Sunday and was reminded to greet my youngest sister (who lives abroad) a “happy birthday” through messenger.

I said thank you that I was able to go to church.

I said thank you that old friends were excited to see me again.

I said thank you that I get to meet an old friend’s newborn baby for the first time and carried her in my arm.

I said thank you that I get to meet a beachfriend’s first baby and stared at his beautiful face.

I said thank you that I had picture with the bride-to-be beachfriend with the future bridesmaids (we missed my sister, Sasha, this time).

I said thank you that I was able to stop myself over spending.

I said thank you that I had a great Sunday.

04.22.17 | day 4 : salamat

Day four.

And I seem to be hustling to find something to be thankful for. I guess I begin to be less mindful of the vastness of God’s blessings because of cares of the world. You see, when I start to look at what the world worry so much – chaos in the country, technology, fashion, famous and what not – I start to take another road and fail to remember the goodness of God.

But still, I found something to be thankful for though the world tried to snatch my attention to this goal – Being Thankful.

And so…

I said thank you that I was able to finish all my events (at work) though I have to stay longer than usual in the office.

I said thank you that I was able to do my “to-do-list” for the day – print the pix for the wedding of Francis & Lilibeth and framed it as my gift to them.

I said thank you that I had a great breakfast that I have been craving for weeks now – Seattle’s Best.

I said thank you that I get to sleep a lot on my rest day.

04.21.17 | day 3 : thank you

I was a bit down today, but still, I was able to be grateful for some little things.

I said thank you when it only drizzled while on my way to work.

I said thank you that I was able to catch up on the shuttle to get to work before my shift starts.

Day three and counting. And it seems that being thankful is slowly falling off oddly when you had lousy day. But still, forcing myself to be thankful regardless is something to live on so it won’t be hard to have a grateful heart in good times or in bad times.

04.20.17 | day 2 : domo arigatou

I said thank you that I had a restful sleep from 1012am to 5pm.

I said thank you that it was raining while I prepare for work so I won’t forget my umbrella and bring my hair iron to fix my hair when I get to work.

I said thank you that I was able to get aboard the UV express van bound to Market Market unexpectedly  parked after boarding a passenger before me.

I said thank you that the heavy rain turned to drizzle when I reached Market Market to wait for the shuttle to work.

I said thank you that I was one of the 18 first passengers to board the next shuttle.

I said thank you that the rain stopped when I reached the office so I won’t have to open my umbrella towards Tower 3 (I have to walked past the Tower 1 & 2).

I said thank you that I still have 8mins to fix my hair and 5 minutes to log in to LH (LightHouse).

I said thank you that our Manager is lenient, that I can still have my dinner even if my shift is about to start at 8pm.

I said thank you that I can change my wet shoes to “slip on” so my feet would dry while I work.

04.19.17 | start your day with thank you

Since I cannot bring myself to read the bible as I haven’t done for the longest time, I started to say my “thank you” to God. Hoping that this sleeping “ME” would be awaken and go back to God.

I said thank you when I was able to  get up from the bed even before the 3rd alarm hit from my two phones despite the sleepless bedtime.

I said thank you when I was able to get on board the FX bound to market market to get me to the shuttle for work right before 7pm.

I said thank you that I have my umbrella with me when it starts to drizzle while waiting for the next shuttle to work and had me boarded before it poured down really hard.

I said thank you that I still have an active mind doing my work even without sleep, a restful sleep.

I guess, starting to say thank you to God for little things will give me heart that is truly grateful and return back to God without hesitation.